This is me - Kathryn. In a nutshell, I am:
- A working theatre artist.
- An avid cyclist.
- A student at UT Austin.
- An insatiable reader and book collector.
- A solitary creature.
- A wandering soul.
- An adventurer.
- A native Texan.
- A stereotypical Leo, but I don't believe in astrology.
- A baker.
Mostly, though, I'm an individual that is beginning a year in which everything that is utterly familiar to me will change completely. And that's why I'm starting this blog.
I don't make any promises about what it will contain. I'm 4 1/2 months away from receiving my bachelor's degree a year early at the ripe age of 20. I'm 5 months away from getting on my bicycle with 57 other UT students and riding it from Austin, TX to Anchorage, AK to try and make a difference in cancer research and prevention (see the Texas 4000 website for more info). I'm 8 months away from moving halfway across the country, leaving my home of Austin for New York City, to make my career as a theatrical stage manager a reality. Clearly, I can't make any promises about what this blog can or will become.
I've been thinking a lot lately about change in my life and opening new chapters - new beginnings. I'm faced with a year that may alter me completely, and I'm okay with that. One of the main benefits of being human is being changeable. It's never boring over here.
Last night, it was a pretty cold evening in Austin (around 38F) and I decided to take a walk out to the Lamar pedestrian bridge to see downtown in all it's drizzly, chilly glory. I've always been a big proponent of walking to clear my head and have some time alone in the city I love - even at all hours of the morning.
I thought about solitude, mostly. Even though (and probably because) I work with people day in and day out for a living, I spend a lot of my free time alone, and happily. I live alone in a small one bedroom with blue carpet.
Lately, though, through Texas 4000 and other avenues, I've realized that I savor friendships with other solitary people. There is an understanding there, a mutual respect. The fact that you spend 6 hours on Sunday in bed with Issue 33 of McSweeney's isn't all that weird. Or your 18 mile walk through the city of San Francisco on your day off, all by yourself? Totally cool.
I'd say that I have 2 very close friends, and one who's getting there. There's a kind of friendship that can be very deep, but is based on mutual acceptance without full understanding.
I'm just now in the process of discovering this other kind - a possibility of understanding. Community in solitude if you will. The problem is, though, independent people who enjoy spending most of their time alone are the hardest people to get to know. It's interesting, really.
But enough of that. There's plenty of time for you and I to continue to get to know each other.
"You know, the prince asked me the other day if I thought it possible for any two people to fully open their hearts to one another...I was silent. Both answers terrify me."
- Radomsky, Dostoevsky's The Idiot
